508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize