I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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