There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
