i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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