just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
