I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
