Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
