the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
