she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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