Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
