shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
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