remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
