We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
