Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
