This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
