they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
is wine microwaveable?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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