Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize