Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
