I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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