You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
