also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
