I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
