very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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