Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
