haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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