One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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