Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
