Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
