WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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