i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize