The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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