do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
