If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
