East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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