brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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