Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
my sisters under your porch take her home
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
