I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
