I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Sorry about my life...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
