I want to walk on stilts...naked
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
