he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
