great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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