I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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