I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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