i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
