so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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