ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize