Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
