i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Drake has all the answers
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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