well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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