your room smells of hookers.
And success
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
