She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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