This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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