Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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