Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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