ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
