this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
