And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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