Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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