Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
