Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
