He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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