Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize