is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
