Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
