About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
