Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
