Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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