He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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